I’m fascinated with numbers. I like those programs where you can figure a time between two dates, down to the second. I think I get this fascination from my grandma.
I remember in elementary school celebrating the first 100 days of school. We’d play games, count out 100 pennies, and make a fun day out of it. I couldn’t believe that I’d been in school that long.
About a month ago I got on the internet and found a program that’d calculate the number of days. My start day was February 22, 2007. My end day came up as November 18, 2009.
Lainey has had diabetes for 1,000 days.
At first I wanted to make a party out of it, some sort of celebration. A “look and see how far we’ve come” sort of thing. But as the day drew closer, I found myself wanting to ignore it. Forget it. Let it pass us by without remembrance.
Because, you see, Lainey has only been alive for 1,390 days.
There are times I wish we could go back to those first 390 days; when life seemed simpler; when counting carbs in food was nonexistent; when I was afraid of needles; when I didn’t have to see blood multiple times a day.
But then I think back to these last 1,000 days; how my weaknesses don’t seems like weaknesses anymore; what my daughter has taught me about courage; how we’ve both grown to become stronger individuals, along this diabetic journey that is now our life.
Sure, I can mourn what used to be. Or I can celebrate and enjoy the present.
The choice is mine.